As a responsible, adult writer, I’m determined to lead the way on COVID-19 response.
No jokes about Mexican beer here. We’re taking this pandemic seriously. Also, let’s be honest, that market was aced weeks ago with the fridge meme.
This one’s pretty good too.
I’ve been trying to work up something on Corona typewriters. Anyone remember them? No? There you go.
So, I’m working from home. Interacting with my colleagues only via telephone and internet. Washing my hands every five minutes, maintaining at least 1.5 metres separation from my loved ones at all times.
That last one is pretty easy. There’s a wall of toilet paper, hand sanitiser and cartons of soup between me and the world.
We’re not the ones panic buying. Oh no. Not us.
So, who is then?
Have you spoken to anyone who admits they queue for loo roll and prowl the aisles at Coles pouncing on pasta the moment its hits the shelves?
“Isn’t it ridiculous,” they say, “the virus doesn’t even affect that end. These fools won’t wash their hands, but their bottoms will be spotless.”
Every single one of them.
Someone is telling fibs.
Look around you in the coffee room at morning tea tomorrow. I bet at least one-in-three of the crowd laughing at hoarders has had to move the Commodore onto the driveway because the garage is full of Kleenex Twin-Ply.
This won’t be quite as effective if you’re working alone at home, like me, although I’m keeping a very close eye on my loved one. There have been some awfully suspicious dashes to the supermarket.
So, back to the bedroom office. Socially separated ….
Hang on. That’s how I work all the time.
Meanwhile, if your workplace is shut down, your favourite pub and restaurants are closed, the cricket and footy have been called off, look on the bright side. It’s a great chance to catch up on a few beach reads.
The First Guerrilla is under a dollar US.
So’s Meet Me at the Hanging Tree.
Meet Me Under Brooklyn Bridge is in the wings, but it might be there a while. I’ve cracked and submitted it to a load of publishers.
I’ve started on something new as well, set in Australia, a hard-boiled detective story.
I’ll let you know how it goes.